Chapter 4 of The Heart of Sacred Listening
From the bottom of my heart, welcome to the pre-release of my book The Heart of Sacred Listening The Key to Transforming Your Relationships, Your Work, and Your Life. If you’re new here, visit the Table of Contents to catch up on previous chapters.
Remember, this is the last free chapter, and the remaining chapters will be released to paid subscribers who will also be invited to join me in three one-hour sharing, coaching, and Q&A sessions (More details below the Chapter).
I am so happy you are joining me in reading my new book, thus far. As you might be able to tell, I am very excited about it and the process of writing and revising it. Some people have been beta (first) readers and have given me excellent feedback, which I will be incorporating over the summer. Endorsements, as well, have begun to come. Here are a couple of them.
“The most meaningful part of this book is Amba’s personal stories - both of herself and those she has coached. Amba has poured so much of herself and her work into this one book. It will introduce you to a world of new practices and possibilities.”
—Ryan Joy, Minister
and
“I absolutely love your book! It has reinvigorated the “deep work” I began with you during the Heart of Leadership. This book offers timeless principles that enlighten, enliven, and truly have the power to transform lives. The stories you share are powerful and bring the content to life, while the “stopping off” points are thoughtfully placed to encourage the reader to reflect and apply the lessons. This is the book I always hoped you would write — and here it is!”
—Bill Weymer, former CEO. Town and Country Markets
Chapter 4
Making This Your Own:
Setting Yourself up for a Breakthrough
The various sections of our book provide you, as author Andre Auw suggests, the opportunity to “learn this kind of listening.” We first learn by “wanting.” We must desire deeply; for as Auw states, “It demands discipline and attention and self-reflection, as well as the courage to take new risks. But the rewards are incredibly great for us and for those we touch with our listening.”
While I shared an extraordinary breakthrough in my life with my father, the true opportunity of this book and its stories is to encourage you to dive deeper, beyond the stories, to discover the underlying principles at work, allowing you to apply and practice them in your own life.
Do you have a relationship, like the one I had with my dad, that just doesn’t seem to be working?
It might be someone important to you.
It may even be someone with whom you are not very close, a coworker or colleague you struggle to get along with.
If you are a teacher, it could be a student. If you are a mother, it might be your teenager. If you are a doctor, it could be a patient you hold dear.
What’s a relationship you would like to open up?
Or where do you want to move forward, but feel blocked by a specific relationship with someone in your life?
Think about that. Take some time. The opportunity here is to make this real in your own life.
Okay. Do you have someone in mind?
If you don’t, just keep thinking.
Good.
If you haven't already, consider creating a journal to accompany your inner travels as you read this book. A favorite pen, one that holds special meaning for you or that you enjoy writing with, could also be supportive. I know when I write in the mornings, I love to use a special pen. However, that's entirely your choice. That’s how I would engage with the opportunity if I were just starting this book.
Here’s the first question, and it’s a question to ponder, and tell the truth about:
What is it costing you to keep that relationship stuck?
A cost is something you are paying. What is your cost? Your happiness? Your peace? Your well-being? Name that cost.
I invite you to stop and think. Maybe write. Take your time. And when you are ready, here is the second question:
What new possibility might open up for you were you to have that relationship get unstuck?
Allow yourself to imagine possibility!
Here’s a secret: the deeper your interest in a breakthrough in your own life, the deeper your commitment to it, the more likely it is that it will happen.
I call it “longing for.” A profound longing for. A commitment. A “no matter what” kind of longing for. The deeper your longing, the deeper your commitment, the more likely the breakthrough. Why? Because you are listening to the conversation differently, or reading the words intently, you are moving from a casual listening, or “wouldn’t that be nice” listening, to “at stake” listening.
With my dad, at a particular moment, I discovered that I was committed to taking that leave of absence, to freeing myself up. The future of my very life was at stake, and while I could not see the shapes and forms, I had a clear sense that only by creating that kind of space for myself – space for exploration, discovery, reflection, and stepping on to new, and unfamiliar, ground, would that far horizon that was calling to me begin to take shape, and the keys begin to tell me where they were.
So, with that longing in mind, that person in mind, and with that breakthrough in mind, let us begin. Like Frodo, and with a sense of great adventure, let us leave the Shire.
Coming July 6th — For Paid Subscribers
Chapter 5
Files: Take Off Your Dark Glasses: They Don’t Help You See
Thank you for beginning to read my new book, The Heart of Sacred Listening: The Key to Transforming Your Relationships, Your Work, and Your Life. The book will be launched in the Spring of 2026.
Until then, if you’d like to take this year to enjoy the book in its serialized format (one chapter released every other Sunday starting in July), make a transformational difference in your life, enjoy three live sharing coaching sessions and Q&A sessions with me through Zoom, around the Heart of Sacred Listening, I invite you to become a paid subscriber.
