Being Held

Five years ago, my husband and I placed ourselves on a pilgrimage, called “Journey of the Soul,”  which was held on the West Coast of Ireland, near the Wild Atlantic Way.

On a small tributary near an ancient monastery, we felt blessed, when we suddenly discovered a mother swan carrying her baby. Entranced, moved, mesmerized, I connected with the peacefulness of the moment, the serenity of the mother swan’s gentle glide through the calm waters of the tributary. I experienced being at one with the absolute surrender of the signet, as it nested in its mother’s feathers, being carried gently, with no thoughts of danger and the certain knowledge of peace.

Later, I realized that if I were also able to relax so totally, surrender so completely, to being carried – like the little signet – that I could also live in peace.

It was also a moment of Joy.

“What carries me?” is a question I initiated for myself; not so much a question to be answered by my mind, but a question to be asked by my heart.

Am I willing to be carried, to relax so completely, trusting the universe, that I know that I am safe?  Safe in my own experience, safe in my own trust, safe in my own gratefulness- for -being that I bring to my lifetime, safe in Faith.

Ever since then, the question has been my companion.

I have found that it is impossible to access Faith (and Joy) when I get caught up in the outer and inner turmoil, feeding my own fears, and what ifs, letting the Dogs of Worry go unleashed and take me down their paths into an inner hell.

Here is a relevant, personal story that took place in 2003:

In that year, I was diagnosed with a large meningioma – a benign tumor in my frontal lobe. After four interviews with brain surgeons none of whom I was comfortable with, out of a stand I took, I found the BEST surgeon in the world, or so I think, after much inner turmoil. Most of them had egos so large, I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted a great surgeon AND a healer. When I found Dr. Black, I lost my fear.  I could surrender, place my total trust in him, and when I was being put to sleep by the anesthesiologist, I was able to trust and completely surrender to what was to come next. 

I awoke to his four words, “We got it all.” And, he saved my taste and smell by allowing me to keep one of my olfactory nerves, a feat not even thought possible by the other surgeons I had interviewed.

What has struck me is the enjoyment of the experience of “My Great Medical Adventure” that became possible with the opportunity for trust, and for surrender.

And now…

In 1991, my husband I moved from the Bay Area onto a forested, peaceful, beautiful island in the Pacific Northwest, where we have been living since.

Living on Puget Sound we observe the sun rise in the sky and on the water on summer mornings. We greet the osprey, the eagle, and the great Blue as he fishes in the shallow waves. Last week, I saw a fox run across our long driveway, the windy, gravel road on both sides surrounded by alder, pine, and cedar.

And, each evening, as the sun sets, I greet “the guardians” who surround our home; stately, magnificent, tall firs that form a circle around our land.

When the wind blows hard, they dance together. A slow waltz. When there is no wind, I feel them smiling.  Protected, guided, and guarded, I relax, knowing I am cared for. Like the mother swan, their spirit carries me through my days.

---

The Guardians

by Amba Gale

Secure, Protected,
the Spirit of The Guardians
embraces our home,
like loving ancestors.

Standing tall and divine,
giants as they watch,
bounteous in their giving,
gracing us with prayer and with love.

I, too, am here,
a recipient of their bounty.
They grew to their great height
before my arrival in their arms.

And after I leave,
they will be here, still,
smiling, 
benevolent,
real.

May we all find the Guardians in our life. For some it is God, for some, it is an intuitive awareness of the Great Mysteries that surround us. For some, it is a profoundly intuitive sense of being guided. For some, it is bowing to the natural world, being willing to live in the Awe of nature. For some, it is the Fire of our creativity that we become one with, that becomes one with us.

Who are the guardians in your life?

Who or what holds you?

---

As you read this blog, I will be in Isle Royale National Park, in Lake Superior, with my husband, a wild, luscious, and pristine national park, on a 50 mile Long Island in Lake Superior, the clearest and deepest of our Great Lakes.

The teachings of nature speak very loudly there,  and I look forward to sharing photographs, poems,  and inquiries from the Island with you when I return. 

Please know, I won’t be in email connectivity during my time there.

To “whet your pallet,” here are a few photos from my last visit there: